Positive Isn't Pollyanna

2010-03-28

I'm often referred to as "the positive one."  When someone transforms their life by committing to have a positive outlook, people come to expect you to always be wearing your rose-colored glasses.  But sometimes in addition to being positive, you need to be real.  The fact is they are not mutually exclusive -life is not always perfect, and we don't always get everything we want.  Seeing things for what they are isn't being negative, it is reality. 

Relationship problems, financial woes, and career disappointment can occur even though you have put forth every effort possible to create positivity around them.  You had the right attitude, exuded the right effort...you did all the right things.  And yet sometimes, things don't work out.  They don't have the happy ending you envisioned or wanted. That is happening in my life right now - a venture I have undertaken may not work out the way I had envisioned it to.  And when I say it like I see it, people get upset.  "Hey you are the positive one - be positive about this" is something I've heard a lot of lately.  And I try to explain, I am being positive...but I'm also being real. 

For me, part of living a positive-focused life is more than seeing everything always going smoothly and getting everything you want.  The reality is a positive-focused life can also mean choosing to believe that everything happens for a reason...even the disappointments, the struggles, and the challenges that come our way.  It is knowing that everything always works out...even though it may take longer than we may like, or via a path we might not have chosen had we been given the choice. 

Being positive isn't believing that everything is always going to be perfect or go according to our plan, even when you've done everything possible to make it happen. Being positive is acceptance of all things.- even when life takes turns we didn't expect or want.  Sometimes you just have to say "this is what it is" and figure out where you go from there. Being positive is about having faith. It is living without regret, or recrimination. It is simply knowing that whatever lies ahead, it is all going to be okay. That when one door closes another one opens.  Being positive is not judging life by the number of challenges we face, but by the face we put to those challenges.   ~ Andrea Chervenak